by Dr. Karen Sherman www.drkarensherman.com Dr. Karen Sherman offers information to help couples deal with potential relationship difficulties. Your Attention, Please! So now it’s real! You are finally married and living together. What a great feeling! You no longer have to worry about scheduling your time together. All that date planning - when to see each other, where to meet, what time to be there, who travels back and forth - is just a mere memory now. You can see each other whenever you want. How reassuring it is to know that if you work late, all you have to do is go home and your partner will be there. What a relief to realize that if you take an unexpected nap, you are still not late for dinner. How safe it feels to be able to help a needy friend and not worry that you have lost out on your date for the weekend. These simple “luxuries” make a world of difference. As wonderful as all of this is, there is a potential hidden downside. This negative outcome may happen slowly - so slowly, in fact, that neither you nor your partner may see it coming. If left unchecked, this feeling of total comfort could gradually lead you and/or your spouse into taking the relationship for granted. Because your partner is always there, you allow other people or other commitments to take priority. It is important and healthy for each of you to have outside interests. Sometimes, emergencies or unpredictable situations occur and must be handled. Whether you make the choice or one is made for you, taking time away from your relationship is fine. A solid relationship can tolerate separateness. But when separateness becomes the norm rather than the exception, there is a toll placed on the partnership. A stress is created that will become destructive if not addressed. So many couples who have been able to maintain their relationship for many years will often complain that the marriage is not as satisfying as it once was. One of the main reasons for this is that the relationship was not given enough attention. For anything to thrive, it needs attention. Be aware of whether outside commitments and activities have pulled you away from your partner. Be cognizant of whether you spend quality time with your mate. Make sure you are as available to “be there” for your partner as you are for the other people in your life. Make sure to have fun with each other. Right from the start, give your relationship the time and attention it needs and it will reward you many times over. Copyright © Dr. Karen Sherman www.karensherman.com